by Krista Schaus
Tuck the kiddies into bed, close the door, buckle up, and get ready to read some mind-blowing info about stuff so downright crazy, it's just gotta work. These aren't trendy new techniques you can pick up from the girl that leads your spin class. These are on a whole different level.
Anyone who's spent a serious amount of time and effort training has come up with some crazy shit that works to take them to another level, both mentally and physically. Everything we're about to go over is no different.
Ladies doing crazy shit can make the boys stop and wonder.
Crazy shit comes from someone with intense passion and drive to get to the elite level in their chosen discipline. Crazy shit will appear insane to the non-crazy trainee or athlete. It almost always has a purpose and it's always done with the belief that it will carryover positively into the discipline being trained.
Crazy trainees that come up with crazy shit aren't usually beginners, but are seasoned veterans of training and their discipline. Crazy shit isn't forced, it just happens.
"Hey, what about this?"
"That's crazy shit, man!"
Britney works on twisting umbrella thrusts. That's really crazy shit!
If you've ever done crazy shit, you'll easily be able to recall the memory. You don't forget crazy shit. Something I learned from my police days on the subject of memory recall is that intense incidents are most easily recalled.
The more intense, the more quickly and easily the incident is stored from short term to long-term memory. If you're struggling to remember any crazy training shit you've done, then you haven't done anything truly crazy.
Don't confuse crazy shit with stupid shit. They're quite different. I've seen some dumb-ass moves in the gym, such as one-legged medicine ball vertical leaps.
What defines stupid shit? You'll know when you're doing stupid shit in the gym because you'll suffer from a serious case of cognitive dissonance. You'll feel stupid. There'll be a clear disconnect between what you're doing and what you're trying to achieve. You'll feel it in the pit of your stomach.
Don't worry though. If you've ever done crazy shit, then you don't likely do much stupid shit. They're dichotomies. Most victims of stupid shit are beginner trainees working with a dumb-ass trainer.
You can see it on their face as they are doing blindfolded side lateral raises with tubing on a Bosu ball. They're saying in their head, "This is stupid shit, man." But they're not yet experienced enough to tell the trainer to screw off.
Bosu yoga? Seriously?!?
Crazy shit has a short shelf life and should only be useable for about three workouts. Otherwise, it's just not that crazy. Novel and crazy aren't the same. If it truly is crazy shit, your body will no longer benefit after a few weeks.
The craziest shit will be utilized just once and then never spoken of again (at least, not without inducing tremors and tears). You'll simply be satisfied having lived through it. But the legacy will live on. Tell the grandkids, they'll think you're a superhero.
One person's shit may not be as crazy as yours or may not seem all that crazy to you, but it's theirs. No one can take your shit away from you. It's hard to define in concrete terms, but you just know when you've come up with crazy shit.
You thought of it, you did it, you survived it, you benefited from it, and you can look back on it favorably (or not, depending on how crazy it was). You own it.
Crazy shit is not intended to be fun. It's intended to take you to another level of mental and physical toughness. It has the potential to make you forget who you are and where you are.
Want a fun workout? Try Dance Dance Revolution. Or instead, you could do something that actually works.
Truly crazy shit will bring you into "the now" like nothing else. There's no thought of past or future, only the present. It may be fun, but only because you are the type of person who finds pleasure in crazy shit.
You'll detract from what crazy shit's all about if you feel the need to go and brag about it. The more numptee-heads you share it with, the less valuable it is.
My advice is to simply invite someone (who can handle it and is worthy) to come and do your crazy shit with you, ifyou plan on doing it again. Only then are they a part of it. To really understand it, you just have to be there.
Do a set of barbell curls to failure, and note the reps. Then put whatever chains you can handle around your neck for your next set and do three sets to failure. If you were getting double digit reps on the first set, add weight so your reps are somewhere between 5 and 9.
Take the chains off for the last set, drop down to the weight of your first set, and go for max reps again. If you get into crazy mental training mode, I guarantee you'll nearly double your reps from the first set.
Be careful, when you take the chains off (especially if they're at least 25% of your bodyweight, which may be the case); you'll feel like you're flying. This works great for dips also.
For a twist on this idea, you can wear a weighted vest during your entire workout instead. This adds intensity in a way you likely haven't felt before. Another variation is to put on the weighted vest for the first two or three sets, then ditch it for the last set and rep it out.
This crazy shit started at PPC Toronto and evolved over a series of workouts. An incredibly fit male client in his 60's was working on a weighted chin up goal. He knew I could do weighted chin-ups and inquired about my numbers. We started playing around. With a weighted vest, chains, and a chin/dip belt, we piled stuff on and kept adding the weight until failure.
I ended up with a 10-pound vest, 16 pounds of chain, and a 10-pound plate on the belt for a total of 36 pounds, and I did a single. In the following weeks, we started adding crazy-ass variations to this and we ended up with the triple drop.
Load up your body with three weighted options to get to your 5 rep max. In this case, we used a 10-pound vest, 8-pound chain, and 5 pounds on the belt for a 23-pound total. Do as many reps as you can, then drop a weight while still holding onto the bar somehow. You can't drop down or let go.
The first and easiest to drop is the chain. Then rep it out again. I chose not to close the vest so you can simply hang with one hand, then the other, to get it off. Squeeze out another rep or two. Then try to ditch the weight belt, which might be impossible if your grip doesn't allow it.
A few weeks later, this workout progressed into a rope climb done in the same format. I highly suggest a rope with incremental knots. Make this one a finishing exercise or better yet, done in isolation as a mini-crazy-ass workout of its own. It takes everything you've got to do it any justice.
If you're not yet able to rep out weighted chins, you can crazify your chin-up workout by doing a modified chin-up with progressively easier grips. Start with an overhand wide grip to max reps, then go right into an underhand wide grip, and finally, an underhand close grip.
Also, if you're performing them at the squat rack in a reverse push-up format, the more you bend the legs, the easier the movement will be.
This one came to life during a phase when I was working to get my foundational strength back after my son was born so I could compete in powerlifting again.
After the last set of push presses, my training partner and I would hold the last rep overhead in the lockout position. Then we'd walk backwards, forwards, and sideways until we couldn't hold the bar overhead any longer.
Next, we let it come down to a front squat position and do as many front squats as we could. Then quickly overhead press it to a back squat position and do as many back squats as possible before walking back and returning it to the rack.
I'm calling it a progression because it took us a month of workouts to get to the final product. In the first workout, we held it overhead as long as we could. In the second workout, we added the walking. The front squat and back squat were added on over the next two workouts.
The overhead barbell weight walk is a scary one for many people. There's a feeling of loss of control and stability with a weighted barbell over your head, and it can be hard for people to overcome. To make this work for you, simply use dumbbells instead of barbells.
Marion Gibson, one of the strongest female lifters in the 60 kg division in the International Powerlifting Federation, was my inspiration for the Partner Suicide Deadlift workout. At the 2005 Commonwealth Championships, the English dominated the deadlift. Returning from that, I knew I had to get into some crazy shit to bring up my numbers.
Come to train with a "game on" mentality. You must do this workout with a partner or you will for sure wuss out by lifting less weight and less reps, or you'll rest too long in between sets.
If this girlie is your partner... good luck.
Set 1) 135 x max reps (23)
Set 2) 185 x max reps (20)
Set 3) 205 x max reps (12)
Set 4) 225 x max reps (8)
Set 5) 245 x max reps (4)
Set 6) 275 x max reps (2)
Set 7) Add weight for a one rep max
Set 8) Back down to 135 x max reps (28)
You're certain to beat your PR in the deadlift doing this workout. We did this for three workouts over five weeks, using both conventional and sumo style deadlifts. My PR in the deadlift went from 285 to 315 using this method. Sometimes we would superset chin-ups or speed one-arm dumbbell rows with these. Whatever crazy shit you feel like adding in, do it.
What makes this truly crazy shit is that you only get as much rest as it takes your partner to do his or her set. So the slower they are, the better for you. The faster you rep them out, the worse for them. The goal is the beat your previous numbers for weight and reps anddominate your training partner at the same time.
The suicide partner workout is a killer with almost any compound exercise. Give it a go with squats, pull-ups, the bench press, or walking lunges. I thought suicide partner deadlifts were my all-time favorite, crazy-ass workout until I remembered water bottle pause front squats. They get the gold star award.
Like me, I'm sure you're tired of listening to all the pathetic excuses from your friends, family, and co-workers as to why they either can't train, don't train, or won't train. This particularly crazy workout emerged from a strong desire to prove that you can train anywhere, anytime, with whatever is around you. No excuses!
A few summers ago, I was preparing for an international competition and my training was everything. On the other hand, we really needed a get away. Thus, we created a "killer cottage workout" and the water bottle pause front squats formed the foundation.
Who'da thought this was such a nasty, nasty training tool?
What made these extra insane was that we performed them for 3 cycles of 2 sets of 6 reps, with a 10 second pause at the bottom of each rep. We gave ourselves one minute rest between sets and three minutes rest between cycles.
Then we followed these up with water bottle cleans to each shoulder, and overhand pull-ups from the ceiling beams superset with iron frying pan hammer curls. The water bottle front squats remain one of my fondest crazy shit memories and helped earn a bronze medal squat at the international competition that followed just weeks afterwards.
I wouldn't change anything about water bottle front squats, but you can use smaller water bottles as needed. If front squats are totally new to you, you'll get a crazy ass kicking with bodyweight alone.
This one hails back from the late '90s during my wanna-be-bodybuilder era when I was taking fat burners and on a zero-carb cycle. My cognitive function may not have been optimal, but because it was one of the first memories that I recalled when I thought of crazy shit, I had to mention it somewhere.
It didn't make the Top 5 list because it did not meet the criteria of "that works" and because it's closer to stupid shit than crazy shit. It borders on dumb shit because you have to rely on a partner to drop a 10 to 25 pound plate on your stomach (which is reasonably close to your head). That's the kind of stuff that could earn you a Darwin Award.
I think this guy was actually a trainer at my gym.
Secondly, it's a superficial abdominal exercise which certainly wouldn't qualify as an exercise that would help propel me to elite rankings as a strength athlete. I was really just a newbie to crazy shit at this time, so this was a decent start.
I used this dynamic superset after the birth of my son to build my best post-baby body (actually, my best body to date) and to prepare and win the Miss Greens competition when my son was 18 months old.
This handstand press/burpee combo didn't make the final Top 5 Crazy Shit list because it's just not hardcore enough. Maybe if I would've thrown in a max set of squats or something, but I didn't have a squat rack in my bedroom (at that time) or else I probably would have.
What qualifies this as close-to-crazy shit is two fold. First, these exercises on their own are killer... combining them is extra crazy. Second, doing them immediately upon waking provides the "oh shit!" component.
As soon as you wake up, do a handstand against the wall and bang out as many handstand presses as you can. Try to come down as low as possible with the goal of touching your head to the floor, and eventually, arching the back and neck to get your chin to the ground. Then immediately do as many burpees as you can. Follow that up with another set of handstand presses against the wall.
I get the feeling this chick's just showing off.
Do this every morning and add reps to the burpees every day until you eventually get to 100 reps of burpees. I recommend starting with 10 and trying to add 5 additional burpees each day. If you started in decent shape and want to polish that physique off, in a few weeks you'll be in killer shape.
If you make it through crazy shit like partner suicide deadlifts, then you are worthy of a post workout meal such as a Surge Root Beer Float:
1 cup Cola
1 cup milk or low fat ice cream
1 scoop Grow! Whey Protein Powder
2 scoops Root Beer Surge
1 tsp cinnamon
Mix the Surge and milk together, then pour in the soda, otherwise you'll be sucking foam for hours.
I don't recommend dumb post workout shit like tuna and Diet Coke in a blender, which I got sucked into trying during that cognitively challenged period in my life I mentioned earlier.
All you have to do now is tap into your innovation and insanity to come up with some crazy shit of your own. But remember, don't force it or we really don't want to hear about it.
However, if you have any crazy shit, or even stupid shit, in your training vault, I'd love to hear what's on your crazy shit list.
Krista Schaus is a certified LII PIPC strength coach, IPF competitive powerlifter (60 kg class), and former police officer. She owns and operates Defining Edge Fitness Inc. out of Southern Ontario, Canada. You can learn more about her at www.definingedge.ca.
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